


Text Gays

by orphan_account



Category: IT (2017), Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: 2017 Pennywise, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canon Gay Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Crossover, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gay, Gay Male Character, Lesbian Character, M/M, Minor Character Death, Modern Era, Mutual Pining, Pining, Post-Canon, Stranger Things Spoilers, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-06-16 06:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 3,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19641733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Stranger things and It kids in a group chat-You may be saying "oliver, update twitter gays" but i dont feel like it so





	1. sup fuckers

**Author's Note:**

> ur mum gae - richie  
> eddie spaghetti - eddie  
> b b big bi bill - bill  
> sophisticated jew - stan  
> meat boi - mike  
> hamburger helper - ben  
> no soul - beverly  
> edgelord - mike  
> softboy uwu - will  
> madmax - max  
> leggomyeggo - el  
> swears hes straight - lucas  
> no homo - dustin

ur mum gae: sup fuckers

eddie spaghetti: i hate you

softboy uwu: i literally hate you richie

ur mum gae: thats not very softboy of you

softboy uwu: im not a softboy

madmax: then say fuck

softboy: no.

edgelord: adorable

leggomyeggo: dont be mean, hell cry

sophisticated jew: I'm in complete shock that you even know how to spell sophisticated. It's not in your usual vocabulary.

ur mum gae: it was auto-correct and what would that vocabulary be

sophisticated jew: Basically "ur mom" and "fuck you". That's all, I think.

ur mum gae: FUCK YOU

swears hes straight: really proved him wrong, trashmouth

ur mum gae: shut up, closet

swears hes straight: at least im not constantly making jokes about someones mom to make sure that everyone knows my (alleged) sexuality

swears hes straight: that alleged is for your sexuality, not mine

ur mum gae: weve been over this, im bi

no soul: would you like to borrow some of my w o m a n porn magazines?

ur mum gae: well you see im not in the mood to look at woman

ur mum gae: besides eddies mom of course

hamburger helper: one day youll actually see her naked and ill laugh while watching you puke your guts out

ur mum gae: gotta say, thats a weird fetish

b b big bi bill: okay, gayboy

softboy uwu: guys cmon. richie is our friend, however annoying he may be, and we need to respect him. he says hes bi, hes bi. we dont like it when people tell us were straight, this is the same

ur mum gae: thanks wilbur, a great time for your softboy ways to pull through

softboy uwu: I take it back


	2. woah, rude

meat boi: [Sad clown](https://mobile.twitter.com/youronIyace/status/820534244279783424/photo/2)

meat boi: i love this picture of richie

no soul: richie when he realizes making rude remarks makes people hate you

ur mum gae: you know what? fuck you

no soul: no thanks

eddie spaghetti: well as much as i love this conversation, im gonna change it

eddie spaghetti: will and i were wondering if you guys wanna hang out or somethin when summer starts

b b big bi bill: when does summer start for you guys?

leggomyeggo: 5 days

no homo: 3 for us

hamburger helper: 5 for us too

softboi uwu: it sucks not seeing you guys everyday like before

softboy uwu: well, the party, not you guys

ur mum gae: woah, rude

softboy uwu: i mean i do wanna see you guys in person yeah but like

softboy uwu: i saw them everyday im sorry

edgelord: dont apologize to him lmao

ur mum gae: you guys are so mean to me

ur mum gae: just because i still like women doesnt mean you get to target me

edgelord: im literally bi

no soul: im bi

swears hes straight: im literally straight

no homo: yeah me too

meat boi: im also bi

hamburger helper: me too

b b big bi bill: my username says bi in it are you dumb

ur mum gae: this is all valid answers

ur mum gae: but have you considered this?

ur mum gae left the chat

eddie spaghetti: i literally hate him

sophisticated jew: Let's just block him.

eddie spaghetti: just coz i hate him doesnt mean hes not my friend

ur mum gae joined the chat

ur mum gae: im disappointed that you decided to speak when i was gone stan

sophisticated jew: I was asleep.

ur mum gae: youre never asleep after 9 A.M.

swears hes straight: especially on sunday

sophisticated jew: Fuck you.

b b big bi bill: its the truth

sophisticated jew: Wow.

hamburger helper: :/

softboy uwu: it kinda is

no homo: softboy said it, it must be true

sophisticated jew: I hate you guys.

eddie spaghetti: literally no one answered my previous question

edgelord: well where are we hanging out

eddie spaghetti: well what if we all go to wills?

eddie spaghetti: his mom doesnt want him to go back to hawkins and i doubt shell let him go to a town where multiple children where ate by a fucking clown

eddie spaghetti: and you guys are all friends so youre parents will say yes and we just have to tell our parents will be fine there so

madmax: well mine might disagree after the billy thing

eddie spaghetti: oh yeah, im sorry about that

eddie spaghetti: just try to convince them

softboy uwu: my mom already said it was fine for all of you to come so

ur mum gae: ill just write a note before i leave

sophisticated jew: My dad said yeah.

edgelord: mine too

no soul: i can go

madmax: they said yeah so

hamburger helper: i can go

meat boi: had to beg but yep

edgelord: im coming

b b big bi bill: same

no homo: Its a yes from me

swears hes straight: i have to bring erica if i go

no homo: shes chill

softboy uwu: yeah thats fine

edgelord: cant wait to see some of you guys for the first fucking time

leggomyeggo: im just happy to see you guys


	3. carpeted kitchen

no homo added lebanese, mother, photobomb, ynacny hewelre to the chat

ynacny hewelre: this is seriously the only thing you could come up with

edgelord: be grateful

softboy uwu: hooray, more people to keep up with

photobomb: rude

softboy uwu: shut up bitchboy

photobomb: no u

no soul: well thats enough sibling rage for today

sophisticated jew: Can you guys shut up?

ur mum gae: why, is our conversation interrupting your make out session with bill

b b big bi bill: shut up gayboy

ur mum gae: Fuck you!

swears hes straight: this hOUSE IS A FUCKING N I G H T M A R E

no homo: i really fucking hate this chat

madmax: the heteros are upsetteros

ynacny hewelre: im hetero

lebanese: no youre not

ynacny hewelre: youre right

sophisticated jew: Shut up or I'll carpet your kitchen.

meat boi: damn hes really angry 

leggomyeggo: biggest threat right there

eddie spaghetti: my kitchen

eddie spaghetti: my kitchen is already carpeted

hamburger helper: thanks i hate it

ur mum gae: i already knew this piece of information 

no soul: AND YOU DIDNT TELL US?!?!?!?

ur mum gae: YOUVE BEEN TO HIS HOUSE

no soul: NOT AS MUCH AS YOU

hamburger helper: YOURE THERE EVERY DAY RICHIE

ur mum gae: HOW BOUT YOU DONT CALL ME OUT

lebanese: sounds kinda gay

ur mum gae: YOU KNOW WHAT YOURE RIGHT

b b big bi bill: did

b b big bi bill: did richie just come out 

ur mum gae: uhhh

ur mum gae left the chat


	4. thats a terrible idea

edgelord: SCHOOLS OUT BITCH

softboy uwu: lucky

madmax: guys shut up im trying to watch a movie with el

no soul: ship

eddie spaghetti: richie hasnt talked to me since yesterday

no soul: no my other ship

meat boi: have you texted him

eddie spaghetti: yeah, like a million times

mother: Go to his house

no homo: the expert has spoken

eddie spaghetti: why in damn hell would i do that

edgelord: he gives the best advice

mother: that youve never followed

softboy uwu: what kind of advice would you, mike wheeler, go to him for

softboy uwu: youre good at literally everything

hamburger helper: thats gay

ynacny hewelre: good

lebanese: vvvv

no soul: back to reddie

eddie spaghetti: what

no soul: ship name

photobomb: simply ask him out

eddie spaghetti: that isnt the problem at hand rn

photobomb: but its still a problem you have

photobomb: its the advice will gave me for steve

mother: uwu

b b big bi bill: just go to his house and fuckin kiss him

sophisticated jew: That's seriously your advice?

b b big bi bill: its not too sweet for richie and show him that he likes him. Boom.

eddie spaghetti: while that coukd work, im not asking richie out

swears hes straight: why the fuck wouldnt you

swears hes straight: you like him he likes you

eddie spaghetti: what if he doesnt tho

no soul: trust me, he does

[madmax - ur mum gae]

madmax: ive been watching a mess for over 20 minutes

ur mum gae: what

madmax: in the chat

madmax: eddie has a big gay crush on you

ur mum gae: oh my god

ur mum gae: is that a joke, because if you're joking i might die

madmax: not a joke

ur mum gae: oh lord what do i say

ur mum gae: i have the perfect idea, i wont speak to him

madmax: thats a terrible idea

ur mum gae is offline


	5. damn

sophisticated jew: Has anyone seen Richie???

b b big bi bill: he wasnt at school

eddie spaghetti: he wasnt at school yesterday either but it seems you guys just now took notice

softboy uwu: oh no maybe you should go to his house to make sure hes okay

no soul: this could be really serious

eddie spaghetti: dont even say that

eddie spaghetti: hes probably just upset that his so called friends kept trying to rip him out of the closet when he wasnt ready

eddie spaghetti: we all know if i wouldve outed you guys, we wouldnt be friends anymore so fuck you

eddie spaghetti left the chat

photobomb: damn

[eddie spaghetti - ur mum gae]

eddie spaghetti: you werent at school today??

eddie spaghetti: did i do something wrong???

eddie spaghetti: i can see that you read the message.

eddie spaghetti: im coming over


	6. A/N

Yall sorry for not posting ever ive been sad like all summer and ive had writers block but i finna add more characters because ocs yeehaw


	7. well

ur mum gae: dont

eddie spaghetti: what the fuck

eddie spaghetti: why not

ur mum gae: carson has friends over

eddie spaghetti: i know youre lying because carson doesnt have any friends

ur mum gae: carsonsfriends.jpg 

eddie spaghetti: well what the fuck is going on

ur mum gae: nothing

eddie spaghetti: you left the chat, wasnt at school, and havent talked to me

ur mum gae: sorry

eddie spaghetti: rich

eddie spaghetti: whats going on

eddie spaghetti: you know i care about you a lot

eddie spaghetti: and you can always come to me when you need to

ur mum gae: i think im in love with you

ur mum gae: eddie say something

eddie spaghetti: is this a joke

ur mum gae: of course not

ur mum gae: i wouldnt joke about that

eddie spaghetti: are you sure because people know i like you and would probably think itd be funny to pull a prank on me

ur mum gae: you like me

eddie spaghetti: yeah duh

ur mum gae: well

ur mum gae: would you like to go out with me

eddie spaghetti: im free at 7 tomorrow 😘


	8. and i oop

eddie spaghetti: Im on display for all you fuckers to see

ur mum gae: and i oop

softboy: so when you told me that you and richie were going on a date, you meant that you guys were gonna get high

ur mum gae: and make out

leggomyeggo: well come over soon

sophisticated jew: me and bill will there in about 30 minutes

hamburger helper: and me and mike will be there in 50

no soul: me richie and eds will be there in 15

edgelord: how are you guys so close??

no soul: i already started driving

edgelord: well the party will be there in 30

lebanese: so will me and steve

sophisticated jew: pawsinasuit.jpg

photobomb: I cant wait to see you guys

softboy: you mean you cant wait to see steve?

sophisticated jew: first of all, you just ignored my cat dressed up in a suit

sophisticated jew: secondly, bill just fuckin puked so we might be a little longer coz SOMEONE couldnt wait til I pulled over

ur mum gae: just noticed stan dropped the punctuation

eddie spaghetti: please say sike

eddie spaghetti: im not going anywhere near you if youre sick

b b big bi bill: just car sick is all

edgelord: well imma go coz im stuck with driving duty, see you guys soon

sophisticated jew: same


	9. girl i-

no soul: good news, richie lost his voice

leggomyseggo: wait how

no soul: he kept fucking screaming

no soul: thats all hes been doing

sophisticated jew: I'm so happy

no soul: okay we had a little detour because we took the wrong road

softboy uwu: literally everyone else is here already

no soul: okay so we took the wrong road and i only realized it was the wrong road when richie stopped screaming and i could finally hear the gps

hamburger helper: jesus fuck richie

ur mum gae: how am i supposed to say ur mom jokes to eddie if i cant speak

madmax: girl i-

madmax: are you stupid

meat boi: dont give him ideas


	10. its lovin stan hours

sophisticated jew: imagine while hanging out with your friends, your dad texts you about how much of a disappointment you are and homophobic slurs and says that your boyfriend is an awful influence on you

sophisticated jew: jk jk

sophisticated jew:...unless

b b big bi bill: imagine killing your boyfriend's homophobic, transphobic, racist dad

b b big bi bill: jk jk

b b big bi bill:...unless

no homo: its lovin stan hours

edgelord: dude youre smart as FUCK despite being younger than like all of us

ur mum gae: you may constantly insult me but youre my best pal

b b big bi bill: youre funny, caring, smart, and beautiful

ur mum gae: stop flirting

b b big bi bill: says you

softboy uwu: we all care about you so much!! In fact, im coming to give you a hug

eddie spaghetti: YOURE FUCKIN SMART AS SHIT

ur mum gae: dont mind him, hes still a bit high

sophisticated jew: im gonna cry

sophisticated jew: i love you guys so much

leggomyeggo: thats great coz we love you too!!


	11. *drum roll*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *slaps fic* this bad boy can fit so much non important bullshit

no homo: drum roll, please

madmax: we are in the same room

swears hes straight: *drum roll*

sophisticated jew: Oh, the anticipation.

lesbanense: and the punctuation is back

no homo: IM BI!!

swears hes straight: SO AM I!!

b b big bi bill: welcome to the club, its great to have you!!!

ur mum gae changed no homo's name to half homo

ur mum gae changed swears hes straight's name to bi guy

bi guy: id like to thank my mom for this moment

bi guy: jk shed kill me if she knew

b b big bi bill: lol same

ur mum gae: im going to the kitchen anyone want anything

eddie spaghetti: get me some lemonade

no soul: oh get me ice cream

eddie spaghetti: wait me too

b b big bi bill: pretzels for stan

madmax: peppermints

softboy uwu: peppermints? No offense but for your snack of choice, you pick PEPPERMINTS??

madmax: theyre for el fuck off

softboy uwu: okay let me rephrase

softboy uwu: peppermints? No offense, el, but got your snack of choice, you pick PEPPERMINTS??

meat boi: lmaoo

meat boi: get me and ben some cheetos

ur mum gae: so thats a bowl of ice cream and lemonade for eds got it

no soul: thats cold

ur mum gae: like this ice cream you aint gettin

meat boi: girl i-

sophisticated jew: Funny because you brought everyone what they requested, and even some for those who didn't.

ur mum gaw: staniel i will SMITE you

sophisticated jew: You say that like I wouldn't mind dying.

softboy uwu: big mood

edgelord: WILL NO

photobomb: which one of you fucks corrupted my brother

mother: probably you tbh

photobomb: wow thanks guess ill go kms

photobomb: oh no

photobomb: it was me

ur mum gae: buddy boy i think it was a combination of us both

no soul: i think it was a combo of all of us

no soul: except ben and el, theyre precious

hamburger helper: 🤗🤗

leggomyeggo: @ every1 else (minus ben) sucks to suck, ig

no soul: my statement has been revoked 

no soul changed hamburger helper's name to precious bean

meat boi: oh its appreciate ben time?

meat boi: this is my speciality

leggomyeggo: we all know that you have a big gay crush on him, next topic

ur mum gae: MAX STOP TEACHING HER THINGS

madmax: IT WASNT ME WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT IT WAS, KINDA RUDE

ur mum gae: BECAUSE YOU SAID THE EXACT SAME THING TO ME ABOUT EDDIE

eddie spaghetti: MAX THAT WAS A SECRET

madmax: WHYD YOU TELL ME IF IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET

sophisticated jew: I AGREE! MAX IS THE SECOND WORST AT KEEPING SECRETS!

half homo: WHO'S THE FIRST?

sophisticated jew: BILL!

b b big bi bill: WHAT!!?

no soul: you've never played tuber simulator??

lebanese: god fuck


	12. pesky adults

softboy uwu: I wanna jump of a roof again lol

softboy uwu: WAIT WRONG CHAT

softboy uwu: and now everyone is typing. Great

ur mum gae: *soft breakdancing* whats wrong william

eddie spaghetti: dont mind richie, hes stupid

edgelord: will i love you man

edgelord: youre my bestfriend and you mean so much to me

ur mum gae: the amount of friendzone in both of those hurt me

edgelord: shut up dickwad

ur mum gae: fuck you asshat

no soul: shut up guys

no soul: we love you will

b b big bi bill: who was this supposed to go to coz it seems like no one here is aware of your mental state

softboy uwu: its just this dude from school, jesse

leggomyeggo: wait youd rather talk to someone youve known for a couple of months instead of us

meat boi: that shit kinda

meat boi: HURTED

softboy uwu: no its not that i dont trust you guys!!

softboy uwu: its just you guys actually want to get to whats bothering me, the issue at hand

softboy uwu: and he makes jokes and shit and kinda brushes it off

softboy uwu: and so i brush it off and it doesnt bother me anymore

softboy uwu: well for awhile at least

precious bean: Will, friends dont brush your problems off like theyre nothing

precious bean: They try and fix whats hurting you or at least get you to talk about because itll make you feel better

sophisticated jew: But of course if you don't feel like talking about it in the moment and you know it'll only upset you more, just tell us. We won't force you to share anything.

edgelord: idk anyone else but id rather you come to us then some random dude

softboy uwu: im sorry

ur mum gae: i think we should talk about whats making you wanna jump off a roof

softboy uwu: i was hopping you guys would forget

madmax: never

half homo: over text or in person?

softboy uwu: think i would do better over text

softboy uwu: butttt

softboy uwu: it involves someone in this chat so guess you'll never know lmao

edgelord: im sorry dude

(ur mum gae added softboy uwu, half homo, eddie spaghetti, and 8 others to Sad William)

ur mum gae: we all know this is about mike so

eddie spaghetti: you fr made a whole ass group chat without mike

ur mum gae: and those pesky adults

eddie spaghetti: dumbass

softboy uwu: okay ig ill say it

softboy uwu: i obviously have a huge crush on mike but he keeps friendzoning me and shows literally zero interest in me that way and it freakin sucks

sophisticated jew: Something in my brain is telling me that you should ask him out.

bi guy: woah mine too!!

softboy uwu: no, im not gonna

softboy uwu: you guys cant convince me to do this

softboy uwu left the chat

ur mum gae changed the name to Byler Time

ur mum gae: now that hes left

ur mum gae: time to figure out a way to get those idiots together


	13. *sips tea*

[Byler Time]

ur mum gae: we all know im a bitch for slow burns but

ur mum gae: i also want our two idiot friends to get together

eddie spaghetti: we were those two idiots not that long ago

ur mum gae: not now babe

sophisticated jew: I think we should let them figure it out on their own. Richie went MIA when Max told him Eddie likes him.

half homo: they have to get together I cant stand hanging out with them

half homo: LIKE JUST KISS STOP SNEAKIN GLANCES

leggomyeggo: lmao says you

half homo: whats that mean

madmax: 👀👀

no soul: *sips tea*

no soul: ive only hung out around you guys for two days and i already know what youre talking about

ur mum gae: BACK TO BYLER

b b big bi bill: we could just nudge them in the right direction

precious bean: i could just tell them

meat boi: ben no

precious bean: itd work

precious bean: i have the receipts on both parts

ur mum gae: me too

eddie spaghetti: ^

meat boi: ^^

bi guy: ^^^

leggomyeggo: ^^^^

sophisticated jew: Think we can agree that everyone knows.

b b big bi bill: correct

leggomyeggo: whats the plan tho

no soul: ik what im doing

eddie spaghetti: we should trust her she knows best

[no soul - edgelord]

no soul: i have an idea

edgelord: im intrigued

no soul: youre gonna woo will

edgelord: now im scared

no soul: no its gonna be great

no soul: its a fool proof plan

edgelord: good coz i am a fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im thinkin of doing like not a text chapter for the next one, idk


End file.
